Thursday, November 27, 2014

The greasy stuff does help clear nasal passages a bit. I'll give you that, Vicks

I've always thought that commercials for Nyquil and Dayquil were amongst the most hilarious and dishonest on television.  They always show people looking like they are on their deathbeds, coughing and sneezing and aching, etc.  Then they pop this pill or gag down a cup of this glowing green mostly-alcohol "medicine," and five minutes later they are off fighting fires or directing traffic or taking down terrorists or winning gold medals.  Please.

I mean, come on.  If this Nyquil junk works at all, it's as a sleep aid- I've noticed that if I gulp down half a bottle or so before bedtime, I can pass out pretty quickly and sleep through the night.   When I wake up, I'll have another day of coughing and sneezing and achiness to look forward to- but at least I got some sleep.  That's if I take Nyquil.  If I take Dayquil with my coffee in the morning, I suppose it adds a couple of calories to my breakfast but that's it- I'd call the weirdly transparent little gelcaps a placebo, except that placebos are kind of supposed to make you feel better.  Dayquil doesn't qualify.

So whichever monster pharmaceutical company that produces this stuff?  Please, stop insulting my intelligence.  There's nothing miraculous about the healing powers of alcohol and bad artificial, gag-inducing flavoring.  Thanks for helping me get to sleep, but I'd sooner believe that Saint Blaise medal I found in a box of Cracker Jacks relieved my cold symptoms than this overpriced crap.


  1. The most dishonest thing about these ads is that they show some person who has a way more glamorous life than you involved in some activity from which he "can't take a sick day," so he takes the drug instead. When the reality is that there are jillions of minimum-wage workers out there who also "can't take a sick day" because either they won't get paid, they run a risk of being fired, or both. THAT's the reality. Also, it tries to guilt the lucky workers who DO have things like paid sick days into never taking one, but just medicating themselves and soldiering on through--proceeding to sicken the rest of their coworkers as they do.

    There was an ad for Hall's cough drops that I really detested, but at least it showed the reality of the situation. It was the one where a woman who works at a store is miserably ill and coughing up a lung while trying to work. Out of nowhere, a magical drill sergeant appears and yells at her to take Hall's and stop that cough, so she can KEEP GOING! Of course, she's so sick she can't tell Phantom Drill Sergeant to go piss off, so she takes the Hall's. THAT's the reality. I thought it was horrible of them to show it that way as if this were somehow OK, but at least it was relatable, unlike Ted Ligety, about whom we are more likely to say "Aw, poor Ted can't take a sick day off from training to win his next Olympic gold medal and gazillion-dollar endorsement deal to be in commercials like this? Boo effing hoo."

    1. If he can't take a sick day, it's because his seriously disturbed parents can't see pass the dollar signs in their eyes.

      These commercials are salutes to the Wal-Mart version of Capitalism- sick? Suck it up. Your multi-billionaire overlords are counting on you. And if you die? Well, not to worry- they've taken out life insurance policies on you, so it's all good.