Friday, March 13, 2015

Dish Network hates humans

Yeah, because if you've got an obnoxious jackass son who'd rather watch tv than visit those ugly carbon-based life forms he's related to and needs to be bribed with nonstop television in order to carry on those horrible Being An Empathic Human Being activities, Dish Network has the answer for you.

And hey, so do I- tell your little brat to get his ass in the car NOW, that you don't CARE how much he whines through his nose how he'd rather be watching television, and tell him that if he makes one more hateful comment about Aunt Judy or anyone else, the internet connection is gone, the tv is gone, and the phone is gone.  But hey, that's just me.

Of course, none of this is going to happen- because Dad is every bit as much a horrible douchenozzle as his son.  The apple didn't fall far from the tree.  Speaking of which, wouldn't it be great if this commercial ended with an apple tree falling down and killing everyone (including that stupid CGI kangaroo, which might as well have the label "drug dealer" stapled to it) involved?

1 comment:

  1. Yes, it would.

    This is how my nieces treat me. Like "oh, we have to spend time with her? Bummer." And they whip out the screens and go to town.

    Does their mother make them stop? No. She never did. She was afraid that if she ever tried to tell her children what to do, they would Hate Her Forever. And she just couldn't live with having her children Hate Her Forever.

    I think half the trouble in the world right now is being caused by parents who are terrified that if they ever try to tell their kids what to do, their kids will Hate Them Forever.

    But the father in this ad is even worse. He hates his sister, or sister-in-law, as much as his son does, and is essentially rubber-stamping his contempt. Because everyone knows that people who are too uncool to own a TV are also too uncool to even follow the rules of basic hygiene, like, amiright?

    He should die in a fire.