Saturday, March 14, 2015

Meet Kyle, the least-desired man on the planet until he "Trucked Up."

Kyle's got a problem. He needs a woman- but he's ugly, he can't dress, he doesn't know what a comb or a razor are, he has no personality, and he has absolutely no respect for women, considering his Great Idea on how to attract that woman he needs.

Oh, and he's desperate for a date, but he's also picky about who he dates- he's got a No Crazy Cat Ladies, for example.  Kyle hasn't latched on to the concept that Beggers can't be choosers.

You see, Kyle finally decided that the way to attract a mate was to buy a Magic Truck.  What makes the truck magic?  Well, just look what it did for Kyle- as soon as he bought it, he traded in his glasses for a wetsuit and a sense of fun and adventure.  Ok, maybe the truck isn't actually magic- maybe it just comes standard with a new personality?

If you get through this entire commercial ( I don't recommend it) you learn that while Kyle still talks in a monotone and exhibits absolutely no personality traits attractive to the female sex, being able to post photos of his new truck does manage to get him dates- apparently from women who list Must Own Superflous Truck in personal ads.  Good for you, Kyle- you found yourself a reason to keep living, and all you had to do was buy a truck (and start wearing contacts, and stop wearing stupid short-sleeve button-down shirts- seriously, what male over the age of ten would do such a thing?)

BTW, how is this commercial any different from the one a few years back for a credit card in which a guy is pronounced "boring, boring, boring" by his girlfriend who then dumps him- and the guy responds by getting a new credit card and using the rewards points to do unboring things?  If Kyle had it in him to surf and camp on the beach and do all kinds of fun stuff to begin with, he might have been able to land a date now and then...except that he was missing the essential ingredient, which was a Chevy truck?  Really?  And unless Kyle is just interested in several short-term relationships with frivolous golddiggers, how does it really help him to reel in women by posting photos of his truck anyway?  What am I missing here?

1 comment:

  1. Don't you know? Frivolous golddiggers are, inevitably, Hot Chicks. Sincere, serious women, who would not be attracted to Kyle by the mere presence of a truck on his dating profile? We're Cat Ladies. Cats, cats, cats! We're just crazy about 'em! And we're desperate! And now that he has a truck, Kyle is too cool to settle for desperate women like us anymore. He only wants quality women. And by quality, I mean frivolous golddigging hot chicks.