Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Yoplait: The Kindleization of Yogurt

(Does the mom at the end of this commercial actually "restock" the refrigerator with exactly two cups of yogurt?  Did she make a trip to the store and come back with TWO CUPS OF YOGURT, one of which is about to be eatend?  What the hell?)

My totally invented word "Kindleization" refers to the taking of something valuable and healthy and turning it into junk in order to sell more of it.  The original Kindle was turned into a portable television set within a few years of it's release- yeah, you can still use modern Kindles to read books, but they sure aren't marketed for that purpose anymore.  We already have televisions- why do we need Kindles you can watch movies on?  Oh, right- because kids and infantilized adults will buy it.

And yogurt used to be marketed as a great way to get extra calcium and fruit- but check out the new flavors at the end of this ad, Caramel and Cookies and Cream.  We already have pudding and ice cream- why do we need candy-flavored yogurt?  Oh, right- because kids and infantilized adults will buy it.

Man, I hate this century so very much.


  1. I yelled the same thing at this commercial...who the heck restocks yogurt in increments of two at a time? Maybe she's prematurely senile and makes a trip to the market each day for something interesting she can still do.

    1. I used to work at a Wegman's in upstate New York and saw the same elderly people every day- I think they shopped to have something to do. What really drove me insane is that they would open boxes and buy butter by the stick, never mind that they would do this on a day to day basis. If you can buy a stick of butter each day Monday-Thursday, you can buy an entire box on Thursday instead and stop making us throw away butter, jackasses.

    2. Oh, GOD. It's like shopping with my dad!!