Tuesday, July 24, 2012

McDonalds- because LSD is still illegal, and Soma doesn't exist outside of "Brave New World"



Here's another McDonald's commercial that I could barely get through without groaning and hitting the mute button (hard.)  McDonalds seems pretty convinced that only the most cloyingly sweet, artificial junk ads are good enough to sell their artificially fattening, junk food.

In this particular commercial, the ubiquitous chain restaurant takes credit for basically everything that makes life worth living, and a few things that simply don't.  The moron with the surgically-implanted smile and apparently no place to go drives from place to place, marveling at all the Gosh-darned amazing, happy things he sees in his Gosh-darned amazing world.  All thanks to pancakes drenched in corn syrup, fried pig parts served between over-buttered biscuits, and milkshakes sold as "coffee drinks."  Along the way, the guy experiences any number of hallucinations- brought on by a grease, sugar or caffeine overdose, we are not told. 

A great parody of this ad would be this guy blissfully taking in muggings, fires, parents being abusive toward their kids, homeless people waving "will work for food signs," etc without ever, ever taking that stupid-ass grin off his loathsome face- because after all, he's loaded up at McDonalds, so all must be well in the world.  But McDonalds ads are pretty much parody-proof, because they are so damned stupid and insulting in their original form.

I'll just end by noting that if you are really enjoying life as much as this guy is, why would you take steps to cut it short by consuming this garbage?

8 comments:

  1. I kept expecting to find out that he was actually in a coma because his McDonald's food had caused a blood clot, cutting off the supply of blood to his brain, so that he to drove right into a guard rail he'd mistaken for a giant candy cane.

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    1. Now that would have been a commercial worth watching.

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    2. Seconded. I wonder what kind of following it would get on YouTube?

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  2. To think that Bloomberg is being called a Nazi because he has problems with food like this. Sad world.

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  3. Wow. I want to know what McD's he got his coffee at, because they are clearly spiking it with some really good shit. I wish I'd had some of that today to help me deal with the clusterfluff that is public transportation where I live.

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  4. Totally forgot to mention that this brings to mind one of the product placements in 'Iron Man'. Tony Stark has just returned to the States after several months of being held captive in the mountains of Afghanistan. The first thing he wants to do is get a hamburger. Definitely sounds like a plan, and I'm thinking he's going to go to some greasy spoon-type place. The next scene? He's being handed a Burger King bag. I'm like 0_o, because that? Is. Not. A. Burger. What they have the audacity to call a burger is an overpriced, tasteless way to clog your arteries without putting a dent in your hunger. I'm not familiar with any large chain that does a burger right.

    Oh, and if I want a sweet treat that's guaranteed to put a smile on my face? I'll make Rice Krispies or the cookies an urban legend claims are Mrs. Fields' (or Nieman Marcus', depending on the version. Story's crap but the cookies are *fabulous*!)

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  5. That part of "Iron Man" always bothered me, too (that and having Kramer from "Mad Money" make an appearance- of course, Bill O'Reilly shows up in the sequel, so it just goes from bad to worse)- Stark says he wants "An American Cheeseburger." So this guy, who is worth billions, gets a sack of burgers from BURGER KING? If he had wanted an "American pizza," would he have gone to Domino's? Please!

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