Thursday, April 11, 2013

All of these people need to die. Right. Now.

Hate Rising.  Rage Intensifying. Blood Pressure Rising.  HULK SMASH!

For all you Holier-than-thou (or just Holier-than-me) commercial viewers who claim to have never, ever wanted to jump on an airplane, fly to whatever muck factory produces advertising swill, and beat to death the characters who appear on your tv set for thirty-one seconds at a time attempting to sell you something,  I present: These Commercials.

And if you try to tell me that you STILL did not reach a level of homicidal rage before either of these monstrosities were over ( I really don't recommend you watching both of them at one sitting.  Consider this a Do Not Attempt disclaimer) I must reply that I simply do not believe you.  And you should stop lying to strangers.  And get your eyes, hearing, and pulse checked.

Because if this didn't make you sick with fury, you are probably a good candidate for Sainthood.  If you actually thought one of them was funny, you are not a candidate for the Human Race.  And please, for the benefit of us who ARE human, I beg you: Don't Breed.


  1. Great. More candidates for the award for "Most Gratuitous Waste of Airtime."

  2. Sorry, didn't rage. The first made me roll my eyes and want to tell that poor woman to find another ride--any other ride--because that guy was a major jackass and already bitching in his head about how annoying her laugh was and how he wished he could find an excuse to leave her behind. Fail Volkswagon!

    The second made me roll my eyes and think, "Damn, this is incredibly pathetic!" Because it is.

    You absolutely must lampoon Kmart's new commercial. It's non-stop toilet humor. People are LOVING IT! Who knew people talking about shipping their pants was so funny? xp