Friday, April 19, 2013

Next year, KFC will serve it up in liquid form

Ok, let's take this slowly...

Somehow the loathsome bag of grease (we are what we eat, right?) starring in this commercial managed to consume a box of fried chicken parts without taking a breath, or allowing a thought to enter his sawdust-mottled head, which might have caused him to notice that the junk he was consuming was BONELESS.  He simply inhaled this life-shortening garbage until there was nothing left in the box but a few crumbs.  I wonder if he bothered to taste it.  At least one of his fellow lunchchoads did, because he comments on how good it is.  But this guy just stored it away like a chipmunk getting ready for the winter.

And anyway, is it really a good idea to encourage the expedited consumption of "food" like this?  At least if the KFC has bones, you have to take your time eating it.  Which means your body has time to recognize that it's getting full, and can get that message to your brain that it's time to stop eating.  Oh, but wait...why would KFC want you to stop eating?  This is the "restaurant" that fills soda cups with fried batter and calls it "Popcorn Chicken," after all.

So maybe "take this slowly" was not the best way to start this blog post.  KFC doesn't want you to take this slowly.  KFC wants you to pack it away and come back for more, quickly.  If they can find new ways to allow you to get more crap into your body faster, all the better for the bottom line.  Sure, you also die faster- but they have no doubt you are passing your horrendous eating habits on to your unfortunate offspring.  Please remind them that popcorn chicken can now be Super-Sized.


  1. Oh, this was funny. I don't think he inhaled it, he was probably just eating absentmindedly as he talked to his friends. I mean, if he did scarf it down as fast as he could, then yeah, that's gross, but you could definitely eat at a leisurely pace and not notice precisely what you're eating.

    1. I guess I don't understand the concept of going out to eat and then consuming the food so quickly, you don't even notice what you are putting in your mouth. Maybe the idea is that eating at one of these fast food places is so routine, getting the food into your system is more of a chore than a pleasurable experience. And maybe this would be more believable if we saw this guy reading a paper while eating- but he doesn't seem to be distracted. He's just shoveling it away, and is then astonished when there's nothing left.

      And what does this guy think will happen if he "ate the bones?" He didn't choke on them. They aren't poisonous. What the hell?

    2. I don't know, maybe it's just that this was close enough to funny that after so many McDonald's commercials I laughed at it.

  2. I was just going to recommend you tear these commercials to shreds. Too far beyond stupid to be amusing.

  3. I've tried this chicken and it's just a little bigger than a mcnugget. There's no way anyone who can discern a toy boat from an aircraft carrier is going to mistake this chicken for regular pieces of boned chicken. But then, it seems they're targeting the portion of the public who have IQ's lower than their pant sizes....I guess they'll have raging success considering haw many people I meet like this on a daily basis.