Friday, April 26, 2013

I had to desperately distract her from the secondary prize that came with the ring: Me.

I just can't wrap my head around the massive mess of dumb that makes up this mercifully short ad.

"How far would you go?  Some guys are going to extremes..." what, seriously?

"He proposed to me at the bottom of the ocean (appreciative witless giggle.")

"I had to propose to her at zero gravity."  Are you f--ing kidding me?  Might I inquire why, exactly?

Do you ever allow yourself to realize that when you "go to extremes" by proposing in scuba gear, or while in the stratosphere, or on a roller coaster, or with the help of the morons running the Jumbotron, you are essentially admitting that you feel the need to smear expensive, showy lipstick on a pig?

In other words, do you realize that your determination to propose in such a blatantly "off-key" way is just a confession that there's nothing especially special about YOU, so you'd better put a gigantic ribbon on this not very impressive gift?

And to the woman who gushes about the rock she was offered by bleating "who could say no to THAT?"-- I get it.  Who could say no to the big pretty rock.  She isn't being asked to say Yes to being Mrs. Henry Jones.  She's being asked to accept the pretty rock.  Who could say no to it?  Not her.  Sure, it means she's got to take this guy with it- but check out this rock again!

1 comment:

  1. Who could say no to a big, shiny rock? I could. The price for the rest of my life is a hell of a lot higher than whatever a mall jewelry store charges for that tacky, overpriced thing.