Saturday, April 27, 2013

"Here's your F--ing Chocolate Diamonds. Will they buy me even an HOUR of peace?"

So I guess the male half of this couple, bitterly regretting his decision to take his honey to the Levian Chocolate Diamonds Exhibit Sponsored by Kay Jewelers at the local museum, got really sick of listening to the twit blather on and on with her recital of Everything She Just Learned About Chocolate Diamonds From The Signs (hey look, she's literate!  What a great catch!)  and wandered off to the gift shop for some Me Time.

While he was there, he heard a few people checking out the snow globes complaining about this leggy lunatic who can't stop dropping obvious hints about how much she just loves these Chocolate Diamonds.

Resignedly, he pulled out his MasterCard and shelled out for one of the stupid rocks, already inflated in price but even more so at a museum gift shop.  As if the fricking $20 entrance fee wasn't enough-- and oh holy jesus, he also said something about dinner at that upscale cafe afterwards.  It never ends, this shit.

1 comment:

  1. These are the stupidest things I've ever seen. Who on earth would like these things? I can remember clear back a year ago when diamonds that full of impurities were sent to be used in industrial equipment. I guess these are the new lobster.

    Here's the deal. Jewelry is supposed to be brightly colored. There is no bright brown. There are light browns, deep browns, burnt browns, raw browns, beiges, and tans. But there are no bright browns. Of course, LeVian either didn't know that or didn't think you knew it.