Saturday, April 13, 2013

Interesting strategy, Miller Lite

Miller's latest ad campaign seems to be based on the following theory:  If you want to hook people into buying your brand of beer, find the must obnoxious, annoying and appallingly ugly human being ever to curse his mother's womb to appear in it.

Then hire a few monkeys who have an hour or so to spare and are capable of holding crayons to write a script which involves having this wretched bag of refuse make stupid faces and utter remarks that are very funny to an audience of senile box turtles.

Throw in a small dog, a few hot girls in bikinis, and a couple of twentysomething beer-swillers who can convincingly act befuddled at being in an ad which is awful even for a BEER commercial.  DONE.

The YouTube losers tell me that the-- ahem, "star" of this junk is an Asian game show host, or something.  No, I don't need clarification.  I don't care.  I just thought I'd throw that out there, because this post was looking like it was going to be a little thin.  And because I wondered if I was supposed to know who this pustule was.

And now, I'm going to make a small admission:  I have seen this ad maybe thirty times, but I have not listened to it even once.  This possibly explains why I find it so very awful, but I really would rather not leave the mute button alone and see if the script comes close to justifying this putrid, vile assault on all that is Good and Decent in the world.   I'll leave that to you guys.  I'm pretty sure I'm missing absolutely nothing.


  1. Lame. Very, very lame. Makes no sense. What the hell? Whichever guy shuts him in the fridge at the end makes the right decision. Ken whatshisname never should've ditched a career in medicine (he's a for-real doctor, believe it or not) to pursue comedy. If this is his idea of being funny, he isn't. At all.

  2. This just has a 1950s "honowable Chinaman make white man laugh" vibe smeared all over it. Maybe we'll see Stepin Fetchit make an appearance in the next series of ads.

    1. I don't get that at all, but I (unfortunately) saw this with sound.

      Oh, speaking of racism, I just posted about the ridiculous double standard surrounding American Indian sports mascots and a certain other team over at Zenith Edition.

    2. I looked at it, typed out a reply, decided "why bother," and didn't submit it for publication. Same right-wing crap on a different day for Derek.

    3. Are you talking about my assertion that this ad isn't racist, or my assertion that the Notre Dame Fightin' Irish mascot is?

    4. Well, "Irish" isn't a "race," but my assertion is that they are both offensive.

    5. Wikipedia defines the Irish as an "ethnic group." When you can give me a good, solid reason why "ethnic group" is different than "race", I'll happily acknowledge that on Zenith Edition.

      If you watch the ad with sound, you see that Ken Jeong is very rude to pretty much everyone around him. I didn't know that that was the stereotypical East Asian male's typical behavior.

    6. We've had this conversation before, Derek. I'm not your teacher. If you want to believe that every time a new nation is created, a new race is created along with it, be my guest. I couldn't give a fat rat's ass what you "acknowledge" on your own site.

    7. So, you just don't know, then.

      After a little research, I've found that technically there are only three races: Caucasian, Negroid, and Mongoloid (not my terms). The actual existence of these races has been disproven, and the terms are no longer used.

      That being said:

      LONDON (Reuters) - Irish geneticists have used surnames and the male Y chromosome to reconstruct a one thousand year-old genetic map of Ireland that shows the Irish really are a race apart.

      "When you look at this old genetic geography of Ireland what you find is that in the West (of the country) we are almost exclusively of one type of Y chromosome," Daniel Bradley told Reuters.

      The Y chromosome is passed down exclusively from father to son. It is a favourite of geneticists because it accentuates differences between populations.

      "It is inherited as a unit so the information you get from it is of a special type," Bradley said in a telephone interview.

      Bradley and his colleagues at Trinity College in Dublin examined the Y chromosomes of men with Gaelic surnames in the western-most province of Connaught, and found that 98.3 percent had a group of genes on the Y chromosome known as haplogroup 1.

      "When you look at Gaelic surnames they are different in frequency of Y chromosome types from non- Gaelic surnames," Bradley said.

      In a report in the science journal Nature, he and his colleagues said that even within Ireland they found differences.

      More than 98 percent of men with Gaelic names in western Ireland had haplogroup 1 but numbers dropped drastically on the east of the Emerald Isle.

      Much further east in Turkey only 1.8 percent of men carry haplogroup 1.

      "Ireland may tell us something about European diversity because it is on the edge of Europe. Genetic diversity follows geography to some extent," Bradley said.

      The researchers said there is a gradient of haplogroup 1 across Europe starting at almost zero in the Far East to almost 100 percent in the west of Ireland.

      One of the most likely explanations for this is that farming, which was invented about 10,000 years ago in the near East and caused a fundamental revolution in the way humans lived, spread over across Europe with time but only arrived in western Ireland about 6,000 years ago.

      "Ireland has been relatively untouched by this and the other great demographic movements because of its location. That gives us the ability to look at the west and surnames and to get a snapshot of what early European genetics may have been like," Bradley said.

    8. I feel almost guilty in continuing to post your ignorant drivel. You seriously know so very little about everything, and are a terrific example of what happens when someone thinks they have some information but is too damned lazy to do any research beyond "Wikipedia and this guy I agree with says..."

      I would be more than happy to delete any and all of your posts, just let me know. Just please stop sending me examples of your "bedoubled fist" (groan) nonsense. And turn Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh off- they aren't doing your education any good at ALL.

  3. "After a little research, I've found that technically there are only three races: Caucasian, Negroid, and Mongoloid (not my terms). The actual existence of these races has been disproven, and the terms are no longer used."

    Kind of makes you wonder- considering that your second sentence contradicts your first, why do you continue with this muddled nonsense.?

    Your brain is a train wreck, Derek. I really hope you are a teenager who just isn't trying.

    1. Oh, my. It's like dealing with someone wearing a branch in his hair getting upset with you because you don't agree that he's a mighty oak tree, isn't it?

    2. Yeah, it kind of is. You'd think the dictionary, and extensive study of genetic factors, would have convinced him, but...

    3. Are you referring to your extensive cut-and-paste job of one article?

      We in the educated world have a different definition of "study."

    4. The study I referred to was the Trinity College study the article was about.

  4. Thank you, that's what I said a while ago. Of course I got lambasted over some straw man point about whether or not Irish is a race. (I titled the article what I did because I felt that "It's Culturally Insensitive Toward a People Group that Does Have Some Genetic Uniqueness but Is Not Quite a Race, But That's Okay, It's Culturally Insensitive Toward a People Group that Does Have Some Genetic Uniqueness but Is Not Quite a Race Made Up of White People" was a bit too long.)

  5. As to the definition I gave of "Race", I got that from I paste the full version here:

    race [reys]
    a group of persons related by common descent or heredity.
    a population so related.
    Anthropology .
    any of the traditional divisions of humankind, the commonest being the caucasian, Mongoloid, and Negro, characterized by supposedly distinctive and universal physical characteristics: no longer in technical use.
    an arbitrary classification of modern humans, sometimes, especially formerly, based on any or a combination of various physical characteristics, as skin color, facial form, or eye shape, and now frequently based on such genetic markers as blood groups.
    a human population partially isolated reproductively from other populations, whose members share a greater degree of physical and genetic similarity with one another than with other humans.
    a group of tribes or peoples forming an ethnic stock: the Slavic race.
    any people united by common history, language, cultural traits, etc.: the Dutch race.

  6. Oh, and I suppose Mr. Jamele failed to notice that "this guy I agree with" makes a living knowing what a race is.

  7. A "race" being something that doesn't actually exist, according to your cut-and-paste job-- or did you bother to even read it?

  8. I'm Italian, Greek, Polish and Irish. What "race" am I?

    Oh that's right- "The actual existence of these races has been disproven, and the terms are no longer used." My bad.

    Why are you still here?

  9. It doesn't exist in any real genetic way. See definition #4 for the meaning I used to describe the Irish.

    You're Italian, Greek, Polish, and Irish. What used to be called a cross-breed. I don't know what to call it now.

    1. "What used to be called a cross-breed."

      In classic studies of race such as Mein Kampf, no doubt.

      "I don't know what to call it now."

      How about irrelevant and evidence that your brain is stuck permanently in first gear?

    2. Trying to get him to see what you're trying to say is like watching Quasimodo asking "What hump?", isn't it?

  10. I'm not coming through, am I?

    Okay, I will restate my position and endeavor to be painfully clear:

    Irish is a race. Irishmen are different than Spaniards, which are different than Slavs, which are different than Swedes. This is obvious, and this has been proven.

    Irish is a race, but that doesn't matter. The Notre Dame mascot grossly caricatures Irish culture,which, I suppose, they imagine involves wearing green bowler hats and getting into drunken brawls every day.

    I used the term "Racist" because I needed a single word in the common vernacular, and "Racist" was the only one I could come up with. Had I been strictly accurate, the article would be called:
    "It's Culturally Insensitive Toward a People Group that Does Have Some Genetic Uniqueness but Is Not Quite a Race, But That's Okay, It's Culturally Insensitive Toward a People Group that Does Have Some Genetic Uniqueness but Is Not Quite a Race Made Up of White People"

    If it is so important to you, I can change the title. I did not mean to offend.

    1. No, I get it perfectly. You are offended because someone considers something offensive that you do not consider offensive. You are trying to express your disgust at people who dare to be offended at things you do not find offensive, and are trying to find some scientific rationale for the emotional responses of people you do not understand, nor care to understand.

      Some people find the Redskins logo offensive. However, these same people do not find the Notre Dame logo offensive. You find this hypocritical somehow, and also consider yourself superior because you do not take offense at either logo. You bring Al Sharpton into it for some reason- I guess because you believe that "liberals" take their marching orders from him. Then you went off on an odd cut-and-paste rant about Race, which may or may not exist depending on which source you are cutting and pasting from. Couldn't be more clear.

    2. I think they're both offensive, as I voted in my poll on the subject. I don't think you should use people groups as mascots (that goes for the Spartans across town, too)

  11. I can't stand this commercial. I used to drink Miller Lite which I will never do again bc of this annoying commercial.