Saturday, April 6, 2013

If you've run out of Ipecac.....

Commercial # 1:  MommyWife continues to put her MRS degree to work.  Yeah, I really regret not having a  whole batch of these things.  MommyWife doesn't, of course:  Her whole life (ending when she reached 22 or so) was all about snagging a guy wealthy enough to Provide All This:  a house, a new last name, and a new kid showing up pretty much regularly every other year or so.  And finding some sick, bizarre delight in cleaning up after your little offspring's "accidents" (is she even going to explain to the dunce why it wasn't a great idea to be carrying around his toilet like that?  Probably not- why spare herself the next Precious Moment?)

Ever want anything other than to be a simpering, eternally and pathetically grateful little handmaiden,  MommyWife?  Meh, I doubt it.  And if you did, I'm pretty sure that there's a powerful chemical added to Clorox, Lysol and Bounty Paper Towels* which kills the sensation that hmmmm.....isn't there supposed to be more than this? (*Maybe Brain Bleach?)

NO, there ISN'T.  Shouldn't you be getting along with your cleaning, shopping, and swimming practice?

Commercial #2:  Should come with the same warning as the first:  This Ad May Be Used To Induce Vomiting.  Seriously, I have no idea what this is supposed to be, and I sure as hell don't see how this is in any way an ad for faster connectivity.  NO connectivity, perhaps, but not faster connectivity.

1 comment:

  1. Well, who do you want to raise the kid? Three-year-olds need this sort of care; she's not being his handmaiden, she's being his parent (albeit one that doesn't say much about the problem with what her kid just did.) Theoretically, as he grows, he'll do more and more for himself.

    Oh, and by the way, the women in cleaning product commercials are always cleaning because they're in CLEANING PRODUCT COMMERCIALS. It's always women because men in ads can do nothing right, not becuase they think all women have to do is clean.