Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Coming Next- Wendy's offers the Defibrillator!

I could only find ten seconds of this obnoxious little nub of an ad, but you get the point:  Wendy's horrible new pitch is having this stupid woman encourage people to kill themselves by jamming "Baconator" sandwiches down their cake holes.

I've already seen three or four of these ads, all of which tell the story of a woman whose life mission is to convince otherwise reasonable people that eating a pile of greasy meat and cheese is not only a really good idea, but just the thing they need to make their lives worth living.

She's not even subtle in this commercial.  She's basically ambushing this guy's happy discovery of the perfect addition to his home- a big, comfy recliner which will allow him to become the couch potato he's always wanted to be.  Good, but not good enough for the red-headed Angel of Death, who tells this dope that to make the picture complete, he really needs to have his face "deep into a Baconator."


I suspect that as soon as this woman heads off the screen, Mission Accomplished, this guy will get a visit from a Very Helpful little sprite offering him a big fat cigar to enjoy once he's wiped Baconator residue off of his face.  Then a visit from the Alcohol Angel, reminding him that there's nothing like wrapping up a day of sitting, eating and smoking than several good, stiff drinks.  Oh, and let's make sure this guy is set up with a big screen tv and Xfinity!

But even if all that doesn't happen, we are still left with a rather skinny woman (I agree with one YouTube poster- she sure doesn't look like she eats a lot of Baconators) popping in on innocent bystanders to preach the Gospel of Incredibly Unhealthy Food, which can be purchased at the Church of Wendy's.

In the old Horatio Alger books, the "Most Dangerous Friend" was the guy who taught the stupid, innocent kid how to smoke and play cards.  In modern times, it's people like this woman, who Helpfully pop into people's lives to suggest that they inflict major damage on their hearts by eating this crud.  I just wonder what her back story is- what, exactly, does she have against the people she's pitching Wendy's latest monstrosity to?  Relationship gone bad?  Choked on a piece of broccoli? What?


  1. I think she's supposed to somehow BE the restaurant chain made flesh. McDonald's has Ronald McDonald, Burger King used to have the horror-monster freak and Wendy's has the Red-haired Goddess of Cholesterol.

  2. How creepy is her comment "Living large, my friend!"?

    1. I meant to include that in my post, Czaerana. If this guy isn't already living large, he certainly soon will be if he follows the spokeschoad's advice.

    2. Especially with the "visualize these monsters twice as large as your own head" sizes.