Wednesday, August 22, 2012
"You set it up so well, so carefully....."-- The Eagles, "Lying Eyes"
If you find yourself spending so much time mopping your f---ing floor that the concept of sitting down and drinking a cup of coffee on the porch is mind-blowing,
1. Your f---ing house is too f---ing big, you suburban mommy-wife handmaiden bubble-headed twit,
2. You are not making effective use of your spawn. There's one, right there on the f---ing porch, who looks more than capable of handling a mop,
3. You need to have a talk with that jerk you married who thought that a house in the suburbs and babies would be a perfectly good exchange for your youth and sanity. But hey, who am I kidding? This is probably exactly what you wanted.
Oh, and BTW, I don't really believe that is actually coffee in that cup. Neither do your kids, or your neighbors. I doubt hubby cares, as long as dinner is on the table when he gets home.
Oh, and one more thing: Your husband doesn't notice how clean the kitchen floor is. Ever.
Made. Bed. Lie.