Thursday, August 23, 2012

Sensa's latest is so appalling, I refuse to watch it more than a few more times.

Ok look- as far as I'm concerned, every commercial which features beautiful women dancing around on a beach wearing bikinis is automatically elevated out of the "This Sucks" category.  So I'm not going to be a hypocrite and try to tell you that I found the ad itself annoying, obnoxious, or anything other than thoroughly enjoyable.

Instead, I'll just ask a few questions about the product itself.  I've seen other ads for this Sensa stuff, and as near as I can tell, it chemically removes the fat and carbs and animal oils from our favorite foods, leaving nothing but calorie-deficient vitamins and other good stuff behind.

Wait, it doesn't?  But these people are sprinkling it on huge cheeseburgers, hot dogs, ice cream- if it doesn't chemically alter that stuff, what does it do to help people lose weight?

Oh, I get it- if you sprinkle Sensa on your favorite junk, it makes it taste awful so you don't eat it?  No?

Does Sensa contain a chemical which makes the food expand in your stomach so you eat less?  No?

Ok, someone will write in and tell me what Sensa does- maybe even a spokesperson who will helpfully link me to several Reputable Sites which explain exactly how dusting fatty food with this stuff causes you to lose weight.  My guess is that if the Reputable Site is in fact Reputable, it will also include Helpful Diet and Exercise Tips.   I hope it includes more of these girls.

Regardless of what Sensa does or claims to do, I have to note here that at no point does the word "healthy" appear anywhere in this ad.  Which means it's just another "Smaller People are Better People" diet ad.  "I lost 45 pounds!"  Did your doctor suggest this- or were you just trying to meet someone else's expectations of you?  Do you feel better about yourself now that you've lost those 45 pounds?  Why?  Are you happy with your weight now, or do you feel you need to lose a "little more?"  Again, why?  Is it because you'd like to be one of those hot girls dancing on the beach?  Do you think they are happy?

It would be so cool if ads for ads for Diet Aids got off the "This is How you are Supposed to Look, Fasto" shtick and focused on health, wouldn't it?  But then, maybe there would be fewer people with eating disorders and low self esteem- and fewer customers for counselors, and Diet Aids.  Can't have that.

So- wouldn't you like to be one of these hot girls, confidently dancing on the beach in a bikini?  Aren't you sick of having (gasp!) body fat, you lazy cow?  Then sprinkle on some of this crap, get yourself Pretty, and get with the program.*

Wow, I sure got angry there.  I guess this commercial did suck, after all.  Despite the hot girls in bikinis.  I didn't think that was possible.

*  -- I really love this article.  Enough to share.


  1. I think that Sensa causes your body to go into gyrating convulsions, which account for the "dancing" that we see here. it is, in fact, this constant, involuntary motions that result in the weight loss. It's like a chemical version of the cursed Dancing Shoes.

    On the other hand, I find that these are still better than commercials for extreme exercise regimes where I would be satisfied with just having the "before" body.

  2. Ah, to live in a world where it was about health instead of image. We could, for instance, not have the comic strip Cathy to annoy us every time the woman screams that she's ugly, old and useless because she's no longer her own birth weight.

  3. Ah yes, Cathy- thirty years of a cartoon character screaming at the sight of herself in a bathing suit, rolling her eyes over her relationship with her smothering mother, and suffering from constant anxiety concerning boyfriends, until all things are made Right by the placement of a rock on the character's finger. ACCCKKK!!

    1. And even more so by the development in the last strip: a foetus yelling "AAAAAAAAAAACK!!!" from inside Cathy's uterus!!

      That's right. The whole blasted cycle will start all over again.

    2. I'm not sorry I missed the repulsive "hilarious" conclusion- a Brand New, Not Improved Cathy ready to suffer through 30 years of angst until she's fulfilled by a maaaaaannnn.