Thursday, January 24, 2013
Subaru Presents: A Spot I would have been more than happy to miss
What is this commercial attempting to sell us? The joy of having intensely stupid kids? Of living on a suburban street in which none of your neighbors notice what your intensely stupid kids are doing? Of leaving your kids totally unattended for hours,* while also leaving your car keys within easy reach (or just leaving your car unlocked in the driveway of your ticky tacky All Look Just The Same castle?)
None of the above. I'm convinced that this is actually an endorsement of going through life heavily medicated. Having woken up one day to find himself living the Middle Class dream (which seems to always include two kids who look like Dad,) this guy has decided to keep himself on heavy doses of Valium. Or maybe it's just Marijuana. I mean, come on- there's something in between throwing a murderous fit which finally gets the neighbors away from their DVRs ("watch five shows at once!") and "here, let me help you finish destroying my car."
Love: Accepting that your kids are morons who are basically on their own, which is going to result in them doing a lot of damage to your property. Can I assume that each Subaru comes with a starter supply of Daddy's Little Helper in the glove compartment?
*Where's Mommy? I don't know why, but I got the oddest notion while watching this that Mommy is sitting at the bay window with a glass of wine in her hand and a big smile on her face, watching all of this happen to Daddy's car. But who am I kidding? The sequel will probably show harried, Had Been Off Doing Important Stuff Mom coming home, surveying the wreck of the car, and thinking once again "why did I think I could leave the kids in the care of that idiot, even for a few hours?"