Sunday, January 27, 2013

The Extra-Strength version provides a quick, affordable lobotomy!

I think it's awesome that we get to watch one moron REALLY HURT HIMSELF by sticking a cotton swab in his ear not once, but twice.  "OWWW!"  My guess is, the first time this happened, MommyWife came rushing to see what the deal was.  The second time, she just rolled her eyes and started to pack.

I also love the "it's so quiet...listen!" line.  We really can't tell how loud the product is on tv.  Mechanical stuff NEVER makes a lot of noise in commercials.  In fact, if I took ads at face value, I'd have to assume that NOTHING (not Popiel Rotisseries, not cars, not airplanes, NOTHING) makes any noise at all.  Well, Kit Kats. They make a LOT of noise.  But that's it.

I get a kick out of the little kid getting his ears cleaned out by his Way Too Delighted To Be Doing This mommy.  For once, I buy the idea that the kid doesn't have a clue he's being filmed for a commercial.  This little guy looks 100 percent genuine to me.  The "Mom?"  Well, if you think sucking the wax out of your kid's ear is that much fun, I have to say- there sure isn't a whole lot going on in your life, honey.

I really enjoyed the part with the lit candle being held in the guys ear.  Omitted Scene: Idiots call their 80-year old parents and ask how ear wax was removed during the Great Depression.

I could have done without the graphics showing what CAN happen if you use those Lethal Weapons In Your Medicine Cabinet, the Banned In Most Countries cotton swab.  As the guy in the opening scene would say-- "OWWWW!!"  But seriously- who the hell thinks it's a smart idea to jam the damn thing all the way down your ear canal like that?  For the target audience, you'd think there would be a real danger of dropping the swab and having it rattle around in the skull until it found it's way out the nose.  "OWWWW!!"

Oh, and I didn't need to see the Easy Disposal of liquid ear wax.  I think I could have figured out that "putting it in an ice tray" or "tossing it in the fire" are not proper ways to dispose of ear wax.  I don't think that  if this scene was left out, people would be wandering around their houses with cups of ear wax muttering "what do I do with this?  Honey, did you keep the manual?"


  1. What the hell is that woman going to do with a candle on the guy's ear? That makes no sense.

    The part I like is the first time the guy yells "OWWWWW!" -- and then look at the cotton swab as though his pain is the swab's fault, not his.

  2. "What were you doing in my ear, damn you?!!"

  3. The candle thing is actually a new-age thing called "Ear candling" where they have this treated funnel thingy and they light the end of it, and the "vacuum created by the raising heat pulls the wax out of the ear"... it really is as bizarre in person as it is in the commercial.

    That said- I was patiently waiting for you to cover this one. The first time I saw it, I knew you'd get to it. Everyone in this house hates this commercial.

  4. The candle in the ear is some New Age bull called originally enough "candling." Supposed to get "toxins" out of one's ears.

  5. As my mother said, never stick anything smaller than your elbow in your ear.