Friday, February 1, 2013

Departure time for these Office Depot ads can't come soon enough

I'll be posting at least two or three separate rants focusing on Office Depot's recent series of God-Awful "let our ridiculously chirpy underpaid minions bend over backwards to take care of your business needs" commercials.

In this  It's hard to pick which one of these repulsive people is MORE unlikeable.  Is it the underpaid drone who is Way Too Happy to be puckering up and kissing the ass of the yuppie pond scum who wants to be sold on the Office Depot crap?  Or is it that yuppie pond scum, who thinks he hasn't made himself hideous enough with the moniker "Mr. Mobile" and therefore throws "I'm a gamer and a go-getter" at us to seal the deal.

"Gamer" and "Go-getter."  My guess is that the only thing he goes to get is more games.

And she's going to save him time.  Why would someone who calls himself a "gamer" need to save time?  So he can kill more electronic trolls and terrorists on his flat screen while life goes on right outside his window?

And I can't even begin to snark on the "Depot time" bit which finishes up this 30 seconds of awfulness.  What the hell is this woman doing with her hands and head and eyes at the end?  Am I wrong in thinking that she's just a little too enthusiastic about the crappy job she has?  And how does she know it's the guys' "departure time" anyway?

And am I wrong in wishing that a wayward meteor had just slammed into the studio during the filming of this dreck, depriving society of absolutely nothing?


  1. Instead of providing medical care, perhaps the employees are merely allowed to self-medicate?

  2. One of the things that bothers me about these ads is that I looked up the woman who plays the Office Depot employee. Her name is Rachel Moulton, and by all accounts she's a well trained and well regarded actress.

    I understand that you have to pay your bills, but these ads seem beneath someone with that kind of talent.

  3. Can you even be a gamer and a go-getter?

    1. No. It's like claiming to be a nerd and cool at the same time. They do not go together.