Sunday, February 3, 2013
Volkswagen thinks Racism is funny and a good argument for purchasing its product
Having (finally, thank G-d) abandoned the idea of trying to convince us to buy one of their ugly cars by showing people hitting themselves or being mocked by automobiles with German accents- not to mention a hundred or more other intensely insulting ad concepts- Volkswagen has decided to wrap up it's product in the always-delightful, always-winning package of bigotry and ignorance.
Because hitting your grandfather in the groin isn't fun for everybody, but no one can resist a blatantly Racist message, right?
Here's the deal: Buy a Volkswagen, and before you know it you'll be just like those hilariously simple-minded Island people we all developed such affection for during the 1988 Olympics (or at least during that awful movie which Kind of But Not Really told the story of the Jamaican bobsled team, Cool Runnings.) You know, the Don't Worry Be Happy tribe that lives on the beach and smokes dope when it isn't serving fruity alcoholic drinks to white people. We all love that quaint, backward little race of humans who don't take anything in life seriously and are always spitting out little snippets of Savage Wisdom (I'd call it "homespun," but it's not like These People would ever do anything as taxing as "Spinning.")* I'm a little disappointed that Dan Akroyd doesn't make an appearance in the disguise he wore in Trading Places, but we can't have everything, can we?
I just hope that this is the start of a long series of culturally sensitive ads by Volkswagen. Next time, let's see the white guy walking around the office shucking and jiving, encouraging his befuddled fellow workers (who are trying to run a successful business and don't know how to relax, being WHITE and all) to take a casual attitude toward their labor. When that one goes over well, Volkswagen can move on to EPIC portrayals of Hispanics, Asians....the possibilities are endless.
And when our favorite German Car Company is done slandering anyone who is not a WASP, some of us will be very sad because we miss those awesome ads so very much. Some of us will have sore fingers from constantly typing "Oh Lighten Up, I'm Black/Hispanic/Asian/Jewish and I thought they were HYSTERICAL!"
Me? I'll regret ever criticizing Punch Dub Days. Because that was so much less offensive than THIS crap.
*"Sticky Bun come soon." "What this room needs is a smile." Ugh.