Monday, February 25, 2013

I'm confused, Verizon. I don't see ANY "Hiking" going on in your latest ad

This commercial begins to lose me with the hopeless dweeb kid's opening line- "Dad, put that down."  We don't know what "that" is or why it's so important that Dad put it down- all we see is that Dad is instantly horrified by the thing that he picked up, apparently because his supergeek kid told him he needs to put it down.  Whatever.

This kid....Jesus, what is with this kid?  He's supposed to be out hiking with his dad, but he spends the whole freaking ad staring at his damned phone and bleating a commercial for Verizon.  Why does he even HAVE that phone?  I've hiked thousands of miles without one.  Know what a phone is good for on a hike?  Distracting you so you trip over a root and break your freaking leg.  Or sitting in your backpack just in case you get lost.  This kid hasn't broken his leg stumbling while trying to play Angry Birds on his f---ing phone (too bad, that would make a good commercial) and they aren't acting like they are lost, so I have no idea why these idiots have suddenly stopped in the middle of the woods to compare SuperNerd's phone connectivity to the internet access they have at home.

Oh, and what kind of awful genetic match-up produced this creep, anyway?  He's obsessed with his phone to the point of giving his dad a fricking sales pitch in the middle of the woods.  He doesn't look like being outside (or going to a gym) is something he's particularly familiar with.  And for the love of G-d he's wearing a THIS IS MY CLONE T SHIRT!!  It might as well say BEAT ME or GIRLS HAVE COOTIES.  I mean, come on!


  1. Dad should take his belt off and just beat the hipster out of him. All the way until his hair straightens out from that perm and those glasses fly off his face.

    1. I'd be planning ways to ditch this kid in the woods myself. My guess is that if he were deprived of his phone for ten minutes he'd wet himself and curl up into a little ball to await his eventually becoming dinner for the next bear to come around.