Sunday, February 10, 2013

"Everyday Food?" Oscar Mayer should include a "Do Not Attempt" disclaimer

Commercial A-

1.  The only thing in the package is pork.  That's the easy part.  If this guy did all the cooking with the spices and such, who really cares where the pork came from?

2.  Why would any adult lie like this?  I mean, what does he hope to gain?  And how insecure can you get- aren't these his friends?

3. "This isn't everyday food."  Yeah, no kidding.  If pulled pork is "everyday food" for you, you probably didn't live to see this commercial.

Commercial B-

"Was there something I could help you with?" asks zombie son.  Wow, really?  I can think of a few choice reactions to this-

1.  "Yes.  Get your ass off my couch, detach that fucking moron game from my tv, get your idiot friends out of my house and into all that free fresh air and sunshine outside.  That would help me."

2. "Oh, and leave the bacon I paid for on the plate.  I'll be eating it, while you are outside working off the amount YOU ate with actual exercise."

3.  "Talk to me like that again- while staring at a screen, barely acknowledging my existence, and trying to convince your friends that you run the house and I'm a real inconvenience when I'm not shelling out for stuff you want, and I'll put your potty training video on YouTube.  Do we understand each other?  I thought so."


  1. I could think of reasons the 'friends' would want to know about the spices, but everything else, go ask the marketing and advertising 'geniuses' who came up with this dreck. I *love* your #3 response to Commercial B. If I were twenty years younger and my father were more tech savvy, it's not a stretch to think he'd say exactly that if--no, when I got mouthy with him (I was what They call 'a real handful' when I was a teenager).

    1. I was too outraged by that obnoxious little brat to even ask who the hell thinks to fry up a plate of bacon for his friends to snack on while playing video games?