Saturday, March 23, 2013
Expedia? Conservative, Liberal, Whatever. Just stop assaulting my eardrums with this crap
Donja (?) is a "pretty Conservative girl." We know this because she tells us so. Three seconds later, I guess we are supposed to be astonished that this girl we thought was Conservative (because she told us so) is taking a zip line through the jungle. What? we ask. We thought she was Conservative! Since when does "Conservative" and "Zip Line" mix? Stop the insanity!
Donja then distracts us from trying to figure out whatever the hell is it that this commercial is supposed to be trying to sell us by screaming endlessly as she goes down the zip line. In this, she is behaving like every other person I've ever seen in a commercial featuring a zip line. Making me wonder- if you are going to spend the entire time screaming, why don't you save a lot of money by just riding on a rollercoaster?
I want to try a zip line someday. It looks like fun. I can promise you this, though- I won't be wasting the experience yelling like a freaking idiot, no matter how long it lasts. Not because I'm a Liberal. Certainly not because I'm a Conservative. Because I'm not a freaking moron who likes to hear myself scream. I'm pretty sure I'll be busy taking in the view and just enjoying the ride. Too busy to scream, even I wanted to. But I won't want to.
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This post is a service to humanity. During the last few weeks, I think I've seen Donjia more often than my own wife. I dream of cutting her zip line and sending her plunging to the jungle floor, where she'd be hacked to death by local tribesmen who are sick of "conservative" foreign tourists screaming through their sacred ancestral lands.ReplyDelete
I imagine that in a few hours, Donjia will be roaring through those ancestral lands in a Jeep Cherokee, chasing endangered species while screaming at the top of her lungs. Just Because.Delete