Friday, March 8, 2013

Space Babies? SPACE BABIES??

"Yes, well that's because Jake's parents aren't frightened, pathetically juvenile morons with severe arrested development issues who think that sex is a scary mystery better kept under wraps until you are engaged to some nice Baptist girl your parents picked out for you, son."

Seriously, this is so disturbing and demented, I don't think I have enough room here to deal with it adequately.  This really is more of a job for The Editor at Pointless Planet.  I mean, I can deal with McDonalds, Cell Phones, and MOST car commercials, but this....this Celebration of Stupid is so horrid and lame, it really needs to be dissected by someone willing to deal with it frame by frame.  And that ain't me.

I'll just leave it with this observation: Chances are excellent that when The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round is over and Spawn of Nitwits has been dropped off at Sunday School, the parents of this poor kid will resolve to remove the evil secular influence of Jake and his Awful Going To Hell Any Moment Now Caregivers who have the gall to talk about Actual Non-Make Believe Biology within earshot of their precious Intentionally Ignorant About Dirty Things Like This Until Out of the House son.  These two alleged adults clearly have sticks so firmly shoved up their nether regions, it's hard to imagine how they ever managed to figure out the sex act in the first place.

Or maybe Dad actually believes his pathetically brain-numbing Space Babies story, because it helps him deal with the fact that his wife one day had a child, despite the fact that he has never, ever seen her naked.


  1. The most unrealistic thing I find about this abomination of advertising is that terrified-of-reality idiot would have the imagination to come up with that story on the fly.

  2. Yeccchhhhh.......I can see not wanting to talk to a child about sex but I can't see something that makes Elly Patterson look brave.