Saturday, March 30, 2013

Oh yeah, this guy will know how to build a tree house in time for the sleep-over. Sure he will.

I have to admit, I'd almost enjoy watching Mr. Suburban Dad nail himself to a tree building a death trap for his son instead of setting his sad standard of manhood aside and hiring someone who knows what the hell he is doing.  Since I'm going to be deprived this particular pleasure, I guess I have to review this commercial instead.

What I find really funny about this ad is that it seems to carry two opposing messages:

First, you can find all the information you need to do anything you want to do online.  No matter what you want to get accomplished, as long as you have this device and this level of connectivity, you are only a few finger-rubs away from finding someone who made a video showing you exactly how to do it. (Yeah, right.)

Second, that if you are a totally helpless dweeb with ten thumbs, no video is going to suddenly turn you into someone who knows how to do something that's more complicated than boiling eggs.  (Certainly not one narrated by "Handy Hanson" whose entire "how to build a tree house" lecture involves "first you need a good piece of timber" and "how many steps do you need? Depends on how tall the tree is."  Brilliant! ) The guy in this ad acts like he's never seen a piece of wood before, and it's pretty obvious he doesn't get which end of this awesome, odd-looking "hammer" device is supposed to be used to drive the nail.

So is this service a good thing to have, or what?

(It's also  pretty obvious that this tree house is not going to get built; not by this guy, anyway.  But I'm sure Verizon's awesome service will help him find a carpenter who can build one that won't kill his kid.  Not in time for the sleepover, but you can't have everything, even if you do live in the suburbs.)

(BTW, the narrator told us it's Saturday morning- so why are the kids about to show up for the sleepover?  REWRITE!!)


  1. I'm shocked, John. You didn't mention that they're outdoors- the mom is gardening. The dad is allegedly puttering with tools.

    And the kid? He's on a tablet... but at least he's outside.

    That treehouse still isn't built. Dad's inside the house watching the game and the boards have been stacked haphazardly behind the garage. They're growing mold on them and a family of groundhogs have taken up residence in there, burrowing under the foundation of said garage.

    Then again, I might just be telling the story of what happened next door...

    1. You're right, I missed a lot in this ad.

      I think we all know somebody who has pulled something like this, a clueless "Do it Yourselfer" who got talked into thinking that a couple of thousand dollars worth of tools, boards and nails purchased at the Home Depot would turn him into a carpenter. What they all need to do is spend money on just one more thing- a qualified professional who knows how to build stuff.

    2. Luckily, I have a carpenter in the house. Our tasks get completed within a decent time. Except on the weekends, when NASCAR is on.

      I guess nobody is perfect.