Monday, March 25, 2013

Pets, Pet Owners, and Luxury Dog Food. It's Just another day in My Blue World*



So much to hate here!

1.  Idiot extras in the background of a park setting, playing catch while standing MAYBE five feet apart.  Yeah, that's realistic.

2.  Dumbest Name for a Product Ever.  "Blue Buffalo?"  What the hell does that even mean?  The food isn't blue.  It isn't made from buffalo (is it?)  I mean, WTF?

3.  Most disgustingly cloying, stupid, self-satisfied pet-obsessed weirdos on the planet, blathering on and on about how their lives found meaning the moment they found the bestest ever food and the ONLY food good enough for their little pumpkin treasure honeys.  No more standard dog food which is just fine for 99.99 percent of the lesser pets out there for MY pwecious wittle shmuggums mommy loves you so much yes she DOES!

4.  The real food that goes into making this Buy This So Everyone Can See Your Dog Is Better Than Theirs And You Have More Money Than They Do crap- chicken.  fruit.  Corn?  That's for lesser animals, like people!  My doggie needs meat and fruit!  Corn?  CORN? What do you think he is, a human living in a third-world country?  My dog has greater needs than THAT!

And most loathsome of all- the woman who tells us that her dog isn't a pet, he's "her other boy- a member of the family"- while her son is standing right there.  Truly, the only thing in this universe more repulsive than someone who abuses animals is someone who puts their pets on the same level of importance as their kids. This woman's son must feel uber-special right now.  He should consider himself lucky there was never a serious house fire when he was a small child and this dog was a puppy- after all, his Mom would have had to make an important decision on who to save, right?

*Electric Light Orchestra- Turn to Stone

4 comments:

  1. Standard dog food isn't just fine for pets, because standard dog food (and standard cat food) is crap made up primarily of byproducts, grains, and fillers, not meat. Most people aren't aware of that, so they think grocery store brands are just fine. It's not snobbery to eschew the usual brands and buy premium food, it's a wise decision made out of concern for your pet's health. Yes, I'm aware not everyone has the means to buy premium foods. I've been there.

    Having some fruits, grains, and veggies in their diet is fine for dogs, but since they're carnivores, the majority needs to be meat. Cats are incapable of digesting vegetable matter, so putting any of that in their food is pointless. Humans, being omnivores, can do fine on a meatless diet. I pay through the nose for premium food for my cats because meat is a main ingredients and premium foods don't rely heavily on fillers and byproducts. If it were possible to get nutritionally balanced, grain free food from a grocery store brand, I'd buy a grocery store brand.

    Considering pets to be members of the family does not mean human children are going to lose out if there's an emergency and it's a choice of rescuing them or the pets. When I was growing up, the family cats were jokingly referred to as my siblings but there was never any question that my life was more important than theirs. I refer to my cats (tongue in cheek) as my kids, but it's a no brainer I'd save my human children before I'd save my cats.

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  2. AH, yes. The old, old story of the 'animal' lover who loves every sort of creature save one: people.

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  3. Hello, and thank you for this. I have a few points to make.

    1. Most dogs are allergic to corn (It makes them itch) and avoiding it in dog food is wise. Although, I will say that in an earlier ad the group of women (there are no men starring in these ads) were talking about there old dog food and how it had corn gluten in it, and one of them asked "Corn gluten, what's that", so I think it's debateable wether or not these people knew about the allergy. Based on the dialogue, it's easy to believe that their research began and ended with "I went on the Blue Buffalo web site and it said to buy Blue Buffalo dog food! How about that!"

    2. I like how they jump almost instantly from "feed your dog natural foods" to "...with LifeSource Bits, the most obviously processed thing in dog food today."

    3. Yes, the brand name is idiotic, it's not made out of buffalo. (The fact that the creature on the logo is a bison doesn't help)

    4. Will you do the cat food commercial? I think it's worse.

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  4. They make "lifesource bits" sound like they found the fucking holy grail

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