Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I thought Dennis Leary was the Authority on All Things Male

First of all, let me say once again how much I love it when fat unshaven doofuses with ugly wives and no taste in clothing show up on my tv screen to let me know "what guys like." (In this case, it seems that "guys like" rims. I think that's what he said, anyway- and I'm not going to keep watching this junk just to make sure I get it right.)
Listen, Scruffy Tub of Pudding in a Shirt- if I want to know what "guys like," you are NOT the guy I'm going to ask, ok?

Second, I'd like to know where these Taller than Average Trolls took the Camry on a test drive. The female chirps something about power and about being low to the ground (again, I really don't know what she says, and I don't care all that much.) Apparently the test drive convinced them that this was the perfect vehicle to speed through deserts in. Once again, the car company is not in the least interested in showing us something remotely familiar. Cars in commercials are always driving up sand dunes and ice burgs, crashing through seas of mud and (formerly) tranquil forests...as if Fun, Exciting Lives are included in some optional package available for a Limited Time Only. I'm going to wrap this up by mocking the male model for lawn gnomes one more time- seriously, buddy, don't tell me what "guys like." Not when you are standing there wearing those clothes, next to that woman. Because new car or no new car, you don't have clue one.


  1. What I want to know is how she can say that "power was very important" to her, but they buy a Camry.

    1. "I care about comfort, so I stay at Best Western."

      "I care about my family's future, so I went to LegalZoom."

      "I care about my family's nutrition, so Hamburger Helper is the choice for me."

      When you think about it this way, it fits.

    2. They took it out on the freeway, according to the wife, but they show it driving on empty desert roads. Um...that's not the freeway, people. I guess the advertising wonks figure the public is too stupid to notice (and I'm not inclined to argue, because reality shows they're probably right).

  2. Ah, my. This is kind of like how movies never have women talk about anything other than some dude: the writers are taught that no one wants to see a car being driven down a suburban street from Tub O'Gravy's split-level to a Circle K.

  3. What she actually says is that the car seems really "grounded to the ground." Yes. "Grounded to the ground."