Saturday, October 27, 2012

No matter how you look at it, nobody condescends and panders like Verizon

This commercial shows nothing more effectively than the willingness of camera-hungry idiots to subject themselves to pandering crap in order to score a few moments of screen time.  The Verizon spokeschoad here does everything but use hand puppets to make his blindingly obvious point- that according to Verizon, no phone company offers more coverage than Verizon.

He starts off with a graph and asks the eager focus group if they are capable of reading it.  Somewhat surprisingly, they all are.  Or at least, they all do a pretty good job faking it.  Then he shows basically the same chart, presenting the same material from a different angle.  Not only do they get it, but they are starting to get the joke, too- they are being spoon-fed Verizon-approved data in a pedantic, ponderous and painfully self-serving package which would make Rachel Maddow proud.

Anyway, this insulting mess ends with one of the participants actually speaking up and giving us the closest we are going to get to "ok, we get it, shut up now."  "It doesn't matter how you present the figures...." well, quite right.  And the fact that Verizon thinks it does shows us that

A)  Verizon thinks we are really, really stupid and doesn't mind letting us know that it thinks this way, or

B)  Verizon thinks that it's superiority is so obvious to anyone with the IQ of a dung beetle, it's a little pissed that it even had to make this ad.


  1. Speaking of creatures that live in animal droppings, the copy-writers are just a little bit more condescending than Verizon itself.

  2. Arggh! THIS commercial! This abomination of advertisement makes me want to enter a murderous rage. The smugness is thicker than a concrete wall.

  3. I do like how virtually illiterate woman mumbles "Verizon much more....than the other one" and another woman reveals that she's already a Verizon customer (way to put together a focus group, Verizon) by muttering "still stickin' with Verizon..." Classic fail.