Saturday, October 13, 2012

Smart TV, for an increasingly helpless culture

Even the usually clueless glue-sniffers over at YouTube get the punchline for this one- the little moppet sitting on the floor has spent so much time being ignored by the other people living in the house, who are so fixated on the Idiot Box Which Rules Over All, that his first words are "Hi, TV."

His proud mother, after noting that Big Brother In HD hasn't responded to moppet's voice command by streaming porn, can only whisper "Wow."  I don't know if the "wow" means "wow, his first words are a salutation to our television set," or "wow, we have that thing on and operating way too often, if it's come to this," but my guess is that it's far more likely to mean "Wow, what an awesome tv.  It even responds to the voice of that kid on the floor- what was his name again?"

Isn't it awesome that this "family" is spending so much time talking to the TV, waving at the tv, using the tv to browse the web and find directions to the hardware store and- let's face it- allow them to avoid any interaction with each other?  Is it safe to assume that if this television doesn't already respond with a personal greeting, the next generation (due out before Christmas) will?  Is it equally safe to assume that when THAT happens, the television just becomes the most popular member of the family?

Meanwhile, I've been talking to MY television for years.  Sure, it's mostly cursing, but how can you blame me?  Look at the crap I have to put up with from it.


  1. I think they did this on the Simpsons or some other comedy, and it was intended as a joke. Now, it's actually depicted as a serious, heartwarming moment. I'm not sure if the taste of bile in my mouth is from the addiction to the TV or the sickeningly sweet part.

  2. Way to go, Mom, teaching the sprog to connect love and affection with the television. You're setting them off to a *fabulous* start in life! Pretty soon, they'll be as addicted and helpless without technology as the rest of the family.

  3. L---O---L!!!

    Perfect post, John. You must've read my mind. This commercial makes my blood BOIL. There is NO familial interaction AT ALL in this ad. No one talks to the kid. NOBODY. Dad doesn't even pick his kid up just smugly smirks at her. What a douche!

    If the first words out of MY kids mouth has TV in it, I'll be chucking it out of the window ASAP, not sit in front of it and let the kid indulge it even more. Just irks me. WALL-E is coming to life right before my eyes.

    And it looks like the remote is making an EXIT as well. I would rather manually change the channel instead of waving at the TV like a retard. It just looks like it hurts. Anyways, another great post, John.

    - WIll out!!!

  4. It's sort of terrifying to have to see that something that used to be a horror story (all-knowing machine dominates helpless carbon blobs) is presented as a glorious thing.