Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Samsung's rather lame effort at self-parody. I think.

Ok, this is pretty funny. Samsung is really tearing those iPhone 5 losers a new one here, aren't they? I mean, listen to how they talk- they are babbling, glassy-eyed zombies who know they are online to buy something, know that it's a new cell phone, but are only vaguely aware (through rumors and hearsay) of the reasons why it's slightly better than the practically-new phone they already own. Haha what a bunch of losers- I bet half of them are drowning in student debt, and here they are anxiously awaiting the moment they can get their hands on this year's Shiny Status Symbol You Hold In Your Hand.

 Except, wait- oops, turns out that while Samsung is poking fun at Apple Devotees, they have NO problem with their own tech-addled clientele. The people Not On Line Because They Already Have Samsungs are having a grand old time explaining to the Apple Drones that hey, here's the phone, it doesn't have a picture of an piece of fruit on it but it's got all this stuff you claim you want from the phone you are waiting on line for. This makes the Samsung owners somehow superior to the current and future Apple owners (you know all these people on line have iPhones already, right?) how, exactly? Oh, right, because they aren't on line.

 Here's what this commercial is missing- a third group of people, who stop the We Are So Much Better Than You Pathetic Dweebs Samsung owners in their pompous blather to show them their wallets, which are fuller because they didn't respond "how high?" when Samsung called out "Jump, new product here!" Maybe that third group could also tell the Cell Phones Are Our Friends crowd how they have these great conversations with each other, how they took their kids to the park the other day and actually watched them play (and played with them) instead of obsessing with some stupid electronic device. Maybe they could talk about how liberated they feel whenever they leave the house, because they know they are out of touch, totally untraceable and unreachable, truly free to be alone or with the people they are with, and not handcuffed to the phony Connectivity provided by "This is the Future of Awesome" buzzing, beeping and glowing things. I imagine that this would create a moment of communality between the Apple and Samsung tribes against the weird, unassimilated Luddites who dare suggest that there may be Life Beyond Phones. I'd also imagine that this would result in a lot of jumping up and down and chest-thumping and hooting in rage and confusion, except that I doubt that these phone dweebs could manage anything that so closely resembled exercise. My guess is that they would all just whip out their phones, take photos, and post them on Facebook under the title "check out these weirdos they don't get how SuperAwesome my Best Friend is!"

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