Friday, October 12, 2012
Racist. Sexist. Stupid. Your Wal-Mart.
Hispanic women are so stupid, they find victories worthy of High-Fives in their ability to move their cart of Chinese junk to the Lay-Away desk at their local Wal-Mart. Wow. Aim High, Sister!!
Black men are so obsessed with big screen televisions and other shiny, glowing objects that they are incapable of noticing ten-foot signs which read WE HAVE LAYAWAY MORONS until a helpful Wal Mart drone points them out..
Hispanic women think that they have actually accomplished something when they commit to buying more than they can afford over a long period of time. Heck, it worked out really well with that adjustable-rate mortgage, right?
Black men see monthly payments as "bite-sized chunks." They think about how much they could buy if only everything could be purchased in "bite-sized chunks." You get the feeling that this guy wistfully remembers the good old days, when VISA allowed him to carry a credit card. That lasted until he decided that those $35 monthly minimum "bite-sized chunks" were still too big for him to swallow, and he went into default.
Hispanic women and black men are easily seduced by the siren song of the Lay-Away Plan. The lyrics go something like this: "Don't live within your means- it's Christmas, after all, and the economy depends on your willingness to go into debt to show people How Much You Love Them. And it's So Simple- just a little money down, and then a little more every week, and when you get done paying you won't even notice how much you ended up spending because the whole process was so gradual. And think how happy they'll be with their toys, their video games, their big-screen televisions....how can you put a price on that?"
So, to sum up: Hispanic women and Black men are easily excited, illiterate children with no financial sense. Thanks for the update, Wal Mart.