Sunday, October 21, 2012

Of MommyWife, Creepy Husband, and Cold Cuts

Anyone else have a hard time buying the idea that this glowing-white, dust-free, polished-to-gleaming house comes with a SHED?  Seriously, this woman must have an army of Guatemalan wage slaves working ten hours a day, picking up lint with tweezers.  Weird.

I generally don't like the "MommyWife as Disciplinarian" bit, but it does become easier to take when the guy is depicted as a totally clueless, "I'd be in jail or dead in five minutes without you hon" doofus, like this guy is.  No, adding the girl you hire to babysit your kids as a Facebook Friend is not a good idea.  Most adult males get this on their own (not all.)  But it's probably a good thing that he ran it past MommyWife first.

(Most adult males who are interested in being "Friends" with their kids' babysitter won't run it past MommyWife, seems to me.  So I at least give this guy that much.)

And no, those jeans don't work for you, buddy.  Again, this is something you should have been able to figure out yourself- but heck, I guess that's why you picked out this particular MommyWife.  You needed someone to guide you away from stupid decisions because somehow you never acquired this skill on your own.  Which begs the question- why did MommyWife pick YOU?  Oh yeah- there's that big, gleaming house.

Naturally, the ad ends with kind of a fail- Having prevented her husband from inaugurating an inappropriate relationship with the babysitter or buying way-too-tight jeans (think there might be a Mid-Life Crisis brewing here?) she proceeds to give her thumbs-up to packaged cold cuts.  Preservatives or No Preservatives, those things are filled with salt and fat, not to mention being just about the most expensive way imaginable to buy meat.  But she says Yes.  Which leads me to believe that maybe MommyWife has had enough of doofus creepy husband.  I bet the "I want to get to know the babysitter better" thing was the tipping point.


  1. I'd like to think that the husband is just asking all those inane questions and trying on those ridiculous clothes and such just to dig at the tyrannical control freak of a wife he married. He's thinking "Can't go out for one night a week with my friends. Can't eat one non-tofu-based dinner a week. Can't have one damn beer after coming home from my dead-end job. Fuck it! I'll just annoy the shit out of her until she stops bugging me to ask her permission for every little thing!" And then, the first time she does say "yes" to something, he takes full advantage of it and takes her sandwich, just to spite her.

  2. I had hoped that you'd get around to commenting on these ads. Mom knows all, dad is a dumbass. We've seen it before -- all too often.

    1. You actually sent me the link to this ad, a long time ago- I just happened to notice it in the archives, and decided it was well worth doing.