Sunday, October 7, 2012
It's another awful Droid Commercial. 'Nuff Said.
This pretentious thirty-one seconds of dull, throbbing pain is brought to us by Droid Razor (oh, I guess it's actually "Razr.") The ad is called "Projections." ( Like I said, pretentious.)
We are "treated" to several images of people checking out their palms to do things like learn how to cut a fish (chop off head. Check. Good thing the guy had that projection, he might have cut off the tail and eaten the head, right?) One person is just watching a mind-numbing, pointless game on her palm.
In the conclusion to this monstrous pile of dung disguised as an ad for a cell phone, we see a guy looking at blueprints for a bicycle. Why? Well, I guess we can assume that it's because he's a Very Important Businessman whose sacred Small Business depends on the success of this new bicycle prototype, or something. Who gives a damn? In a few moments he's done being among The Most Productive and one of the Makers (as opposed to us Takers) and proceeds to relax with some movie about a battleship. It's probably Battleship, but again, who gives a damn?
And like every other person in every other cell phone commercial for a product which allows you to watch streaming video, there's not a set of headphones, ear buds, or anything of the like in sight. Which means that ONCE AGAIN, the owners of this crap are invited to "share" their viewing experience with EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FUCKING ROOM. Which is perfect for ads like this- because what is being sold isn't really a cell phone. What's on sale here is total self-absorption and addiction, two character traits of people who generally aren't all that concerned about the people around them.
So buy a Droid Razr- it's like having all the answers, all the games, all the Connectivity and all the movies you could ever want right there in the palm of your hand. So you can stare at it and listen to it, all the while using your other hand to give the finger to the rest of us. Thanks a lot.