Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Southwest lets us know what it thinks of it's non-business clientele

Wow, the pretension just DRIPS out of this one, doesn't it? I mean, check it out- here are two IMPORTANT business travelers who face the same problem every time they need to fly: they find themselves stuck in lines behind the great Unwashed Masses of Non-Business Travelers. You know, the people who are just trying to visit a sick family member on the other side of the country, or go on a vacation with the family, or all of those other Non-Business Related and Therefore Inferior Reasons to Travel by Air. It would be so great if we non-Corporate Drones would just stay off THEIR planes and use the highways and Amtrak, as God Intended, wouldn't it? But until the universe rights itself, the poor Put-Upon Business Traveler must tolerate Us Lessers.

 Except, help is on the way! Now even Southwest allows Our Betters to breeze right past us, darting through security and settling their Superior asses down while we are still putting our belts and shoes back on back at the gate. Let's never mind for a moment that they still can't actually get into the air until we cattle have been herded to OUR seats- the IMPORTANT thing is that they avoided that painful ten minutes in line, where they were (horrors!) treated like (ick) Everybody Else. That ten minutes in security, standing RIGHT NEXT to the non-Business Person and BEHIND people who WEREN'T using air travel to get to The Big Meeting of the Week is always pure torture. Mainly because everyone looks pretty much the same, no one can tell you are an Important Business Person and they might not even be looking when you finally get through security and sprint up to the SkyClub for a quick drink. One domestic carrier is, thank God, devoted to setting things right. Here you go, business travelers- when you fly Southwest, you can avoid all those smelly little people who aren't even on their way to show a room full of Koreans a PowerPoint presentation and get right to the plane. And connecting flights? That's for the sweaty herd of trolls who, mystifying as it may sound, continue to perplex the Job Creators by brazenly using air travel instead of cars, trains, buses, stage coach (again, as God Intended.)


  1. Smug corporate tool with the iPhone? Go right on in, sir.

    Family of four with the toddler and the baby? Fuck you and get in line.