Saturday, October 13, 2012

Oh yeah- this is really healthy, Hyundai

This just in:  Hatred of families isn't just for cell phone commercials anymore!

Seems that Hyundai has joined the Hi-LARIOUS fun of Mom v. Dad advertisements.  In their inaugural effort, it's clear right off the bat that Mom and Dad are divorced parents with joint custody of their kids and a world of pent-up resentment toward each other which is manifested in a determination to be Number One with the kids, at all costs.

Dad desperately wants to be The Coolest Father Ever by encouraging his little boy to use the Black Diamond Trail while skiing (and more importantly, to see Daddy using it.)  When Daddy has all his kids, he treats them to ice cream at some place which serves up two gallons of the stuff to each child.  Because he's a tv dad, he can't take the kids camping without setting fire to the tent.  And because Dad doesn't want to be hauled into court again, the constant mantra is Don't Tell Mom.

Meanwhile, Mom is running her own Favorite Parent Offensive, taking her kid paragliding (I don't know if that's really what happened here- is it conceivable that she found a jumping school willing to allow her kid to leap out of an airplane?)  Being a TV Mom, we don't see her doing any more incredibly stupid things- maybe because her one effort is insanely irresponsible enough, but I think it's more likely that TV Moms are really never shown being completely clueless, all-thumbs morons like TV Dads routinely are (no way were we going to see Mom applying a fire extinguisher to a tent, I can promise you that.)

Anyway, this is all really nasty and stupid, with an underlying level of sadness permeating the whole awful mess.  Let's say that Mom and Dad AREN'T divorced and at war for the affection of their children.  Let's say they are married.  So what we see here is that they are living double lives- when they are together, they are strangers who aren't aware that their partner is a fun-loving adventure seeker.  When they are apart, they secretly indulge their Inner Child for the benefit of their actual children- but are so frightened that the spouse may disapprove, they insist that the kids keep the secret from the other parent.  So they are married, they have kids- but they don't know each other.  Like I said, this is pretty sad.

Here's something else that's sad:  That Hyundai thinks this is funny.  And here's something that's both sad and predictable:  The Troglodyte knuckle-draggers over at YouTube think this is LOL AWESOME.   Of course, they think pretty much everything is LOL AWESOME.  Because they are children, too.


  1. Dad shoots heroin into child's arm while in the back seat. "Don't tell Mom."

    Dad closes car trunk with dead body inside. "Don't tell Mom."

    Children watch from the car as Dad gets a blowjob from a hooker in an alley. "Don't tell Mom."

    The little girl is lying in the back seat as her Dad climbs over her and starts to feel her thigh. "Don't tell Mom."

    1. The last one is just about the first horrible example that came to mind while I wrote this post. I wonder what decade Hyundai is living in, where they think teaching little kids to keep secrets from parents is "funny."

  2. And they say that the programming is waging a War on the Family. Wait'll they see stuff like this!!

  3. Haha, my parents did this as well. Albeit, they weren't divorced, it was just so they could surprise each other with presents and whatnot.

    This commercial on the other hand is the total OPPOSITE of what MY parents did. Keeping secrets from one another is COOL now. Who cares who gets hurt in the process, as long as you're the COOL parent. Instead of being a PARENT to their kids, they're trying to be their FRIEND, which is a NO-NO in nature. You instill discipline, confidence, and personal responsibility into your chidden, not putting them in harms way with DEATH-DEFYING activities, trying to win the PARENT OF THE MONTH award.

    I guess I'm living in a different dimension here. Where parents are adults and not kids trying to be buddy buddy with their offspring. I know when my son is born, he is going to have two PARENTS who are going to take care of him and NOT be his friend. People are so self-absorbed these days. They care SO MUCH about what their peers, and children think. They gotta buy their kids the LATEST gadgets, the LATEST clothes, gotta be seen in the LATEST debtmobiles, its dumb. This cycle is never-ending. This whole Keeping up with Joneses is EVERLASTING. And people wonder why they're broke, they're kids get bullied, and what not.

    I'm rambling but you get the jist of what I'm saying. Adults are just kids with adult-looking costumes on.

    - WIll Out!!!

    1. There's a world of difference between your parents making you a partner in crime so they could pleasantly surprise each other and what the egg and sperm donors in the commercial are doing. All the dipsticks in the commercial are doing is undermining each other's authority and teaching the kids to play their parents off each other and be manipulative shits who have no respect for them.

      If you're in a different dimension, then so am I. I prefer this dimension. When I have kids, my husband and I will be the ones with decades of wisdom and experience so we will be the ones calling the shots and making the decisions. I'm not there to be bestest buddies with my kids, I'm there to teach them how to be decent, productive human beings and guide them through the growing up years in a way that spares them from as much unnecessary hurt as possible and teaches them to handle the pain that does come in a mature, responsible manner. Good behavior is rewarded, bad behavior is not.

      Do you remember the show Super Nanny? I watched on occasion, but the number of parents who had no idea how to be parents was depressing and infuriating. Make rules, stick to them, show actions have consequences.