Friday, January 4, 2013

Irony, thy name is iPhone 5



So, to sum up:

The iPhone is equipped with state of the art technology to allow you to cancel out the annoying background  noise of other people blathering away on their cell phones and listening to music while you blather away on your cell phone and listen to music.

I guess that once we all own one of these phones and can use our own buttons to mute out everyone else, we'll be living in a perfect world.  Until then, the owners of the iPhone 5 are invited to be the biggest, loudest asshats on the planet, safe in the knowledge that they will not be subjected to a dose of their own medicine, thanks to that little button.  Awesome.

Actually, the perfect world will arrive the day every single owner of one of these new phones is so isolated and self-absorbed in their own little universes that they don't hear the (half-hearted) cries of warning as they fail to see the approaching trains which reduce them to the consistency of room-temperature pudding.  Not that it will be that big an adjustment.

So please- go out and buy an iPhone 5.  Push that button, shutting out the rest of the world.  And start taking that leisurely walk toward the nearest depot.  Nice knowing you. *

*Not really.

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